I just wanted to update with a praise. It’s been almost 10 months since we started on our journey with J&K. Mike used to be severely emotionally and verbally abusive to me. He would blow up disproportionately to what the situation called for on a regular basis. He would hurl insults at me. He would blame me for his anger, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. His view of life was miserable and he was bound and determined that it couldn’t be changed. I got debilitating headaches constantly because of it. My sinuses were constantly blocked up because I would cry nearly every day.
But I have a man who is changing. Through your ministry, and Life Skills, he really is becoming a new man. We’ve had ups and downs along the way for sure. He had a major backslide about 6 weeks after the Intensive, but Joel and everyone else brought him back around. He still has a few “old man” days here and there every 2-3 weeks. This really is a miracle since a year ago he lived life every day with a foul attitude and venemous tongue. He wasn’t safe at all. I could make the most seemingly insignificant remark and it would send him into a tailspin, resulting in my being abused.
Now he’s able to pull himself together during an argument and apologize immediately. He knows he needs to get to the point where he doesn’t escalate in the first place, but he said he’s not going to stop renewing his mind until he’s 100% changed.
I’m finally feeling free to just be me around him- to make jokes, quirky observations, but also to speak my mind without worrying about whether he’s going to flip out. I was so guarded before. I’m on the path to “rest” as Annalisa would put it.
I know now that God chose me to be the perfect helpmeet for him. I am emboldened to stick to my guns when something doesn’t feel right or when I’m disappointed, angry, or upset with him. Before I was a doormat, always forgiving with no specific terms or expectations, thinking that was unconditional love.
Thank you again Joel and Kathy for your message. I pray God takes it to the hearts and minds of the whole body of Christ.