Hey Joel and Kathy, here is an email that I had sent to Norm a few days ago. Thought it may help others to see what a woman may be feeling inside while she is opening up past hurts and feelings. We (me in particular) were going through a rough time.
—– Original Message —–
Sent: Monday, August 21, 2006 8:08 AM
Subject: To my sweetheart!
Hi lover, please help me to heal by staying strong for me. I need you during these difficult times. I love you and I need you everyday. Forever your love, Bess
Note from Joel. Many times a wife will be afraid that if she expresses too much hurt and disappointment, that her husband will give up and backslide. This is a nice note that expresses a world of emotion. Men, you need to reassure your wives CONSTANTLY that you WANT them to unload on you emotionally. Assure her that though it is difficult for you and causes you to die inside – that you want her to feel free to say whatever she needs to say, whenever she wants to say it – so that she can get closure and you can grow up. Assure her that there is NOTHING that she could say or do that would drive you away – she is safe to express anything and you will not leave her.
For some of you guys who were more abusive, be VERY careful how you say, “There is NOTHING that you could say or do to drive me away.” That might come across as a “stalker” threat instead of a loving and compassionate reassurance. So, adjust your words accordingly. This is the world you created and you have to be careful as you seek to repair it!
Joel and Kathy