Dear Joel and Kathy,

What about the husband who is abusive to wife and kids? What about the husband with a criminal past that yet haunts him and the addiction that he still struggles with? What about the wife who no longer has passion for her husband? What can be done for them?


Hi Wondering,

It would take a long time to address these questions afresh. You will find answers to all of these questions on the questions and answers section of the web page along with the testimony page and in our first book. Just start reading.

As far as the passion, any wife will have her passion re-ignited if her husband gets rid of his other issues, (issues as the ones you refer to) and treats his wife like a queen.

If your husband has the issues you described, your question about passion is a moot point. You cannot have passion for an abuser who is addicted to drugs or alcohol etc. Even God would not want you to have passion for him outside of helping him to get help!

A woman can only have passion in RESPONSE to her husband’s love as described in the Solomon and Queen Sheba letter. If your husband is giving you nothing to respond to, then God has not given you a well to magically draw passion up from in the face of abuse. We believe that for God to do this would only be encouraging your husband to further perpetuate the abuse.

That would be referred to as enabling. An abusive husband does not need passion from his wife. He needs to be confronted by knowledge from a book, if he will receive it, or he needs to be confronted by someone he respects. If he receives correction, repents and seeks to become Christ like, then your passion will be stirred up toward him.

Hope this helps!

Joel and Kathy