The change in my husband is so profound I can hardly take it all in. Never in my life would I have believed this would happen.
No fighting, no division, no arguing and no strife. Never has reconciliation been so peaceful. It feels like falling in love all over again.
I yell and vent, tell him how he hurt me and not ONE sound. He listens to my heart and continues to take full responsibility.
I say some very truthful insights about him in conversations and his demeanor and attitude are consistently one of humility and acknowledgment of his character flaws and how un-Christlike he has been.
If he even thinks he may have done the smallest infraction he is quick to back track and start over to correct himself. He catches himself BEFORE I even need to mention anything.
This is a miracle. I can see and feel with my spirit God pouring grace and humility all over him. He has never been so kind and affectionate all our married lives. It is something to behold. I feel more connected to my husband in 6 weeks than in 22 years.
He took my oldest son out and talked with him. He told him he took full blame for leaving and that he understood that it would take him time to trust him or love him. He would be there for him if he needed to pour out his rage or anger and that he knew he failed as a husband and father.
He told him he deserved everything and anything our son threw at him. He told him he was sorry for abandoning him and actually wept in front of him. He told him he would not speak into his life until our son felt safe with him and that he earned back a ton of respect.
He owned all of it. He admitted every detail of his wrong and hoped one day they could have a relationship again after he proved and made up to his wife and children the damage he did and the ruin he brought his family to.
My other son would not converse with him at all. He did start to be a bit more at ease with him by Thanksgiving evening. This child will take more time.
On top of that he has already sent one woman to me whose husband left her and he is wanting to reconcile and invited another one of his friends to talk to me about getting his wife back.
He is ministering to this guy about how to lay his life down for his wife and taking responsibility for wounding her which pushed her to find another man. Can you believe this???
He is actually in the process of moving back in with me this weekend. The circumstances and burden I am under was becoming too much for me.
We talked to the counselor and he agreed it is my H’s responsibility to lift off of me the burden I have carried alone far too long. This move for him is very hard and in some ways demeaning but he laughed and said he would rather live at his mother-in-laws with me than anywhere else without me.
He told me, “Baby I’m a prisoner of your love.” For him to do this for me is a true, authentic sign of change. That is the one thing he said he would never do and here he is stepping up with my family. This is no easy choice for either one of us. The demands of care giving are exhausting.
I do not even recognize the man he is becoming. Like Paul on the road to Damascus he has turned around and it is real. His growth in understanding and applying these principles is amazing. I stand here and watch God just throw so many things at him like rapid fire and he is still not looking for the exit.
I am in awe of God and my husband. He is the man I dreamed he could be in the loving hands of God. I am blessed and grateful beyond expression for God’s kindness toward me. An OHM is in progress and is possible.
Love you all,
Kimberly